Hold On! Control Your Anger.
Being angry is a big deal for me. I don’t like the feeling of being angry. I hate going through the motions of being verbally expressive, having a fearsome stance and the feel that something is going to explode from within. Subsequently, when the series of unpleasant emotions subside, I feel more exhausted than relieved. It’s just an awful thing for me.
Regardless of the reasons why we become angry, anger is a way for us to release an intense emotion. We become angry when our expectations are not met, hence, a strong negative and hateful reaction is amplified. Others express anger in silence while some resort to a violent display of emotions.
I am not in a position to discuss anger with clinical implications. However, I just want to share some insights about managing anger.
- Self-awareness. For one who is aware of his/her weakness or vulnerability towards being angry, it is best to take a pause and reflect on issues that trigger the state of being angry. What disappoints you? What makes you frustrated? Who are the people that make you angry? Similar questions could help in assessing the reasons why one develops an angry mood.
- Press on the brakes. Be sober. Manage your impulses. Don’t release your rage right away. Don’t allow anger to get the best out of you.
- Get away. Leaving a stress-filled room is a good move. It’s a way of taking things slow and deliberate. Take a pause and keep yourself calm.
- Breathing techniques. Learn good breathing techniques. This will help keep you keep your blood pressure level at normal values and relieve your anxiety. Relax and free your mind from distractions. Take a seat. Take a slow, deep breath through your nose. Hold your breath for a few seconds and slowly exhale through your mouth with pursed lips. You can repeat the cycle three to four times.
5. Communicate. Discuss your expectations. Let the people around you know your vulnerability. However, this process is not a one-way street. To be fair, you also need to listen to the other party who may have a mutual feeling towards you. If compromise will not work, let go. If you can’t let go, be more patient and understanding.
6. Divert your energy. If everything’s too much to handle, resort into something worthwhile and enjoyable like watching a movie, walk/jog, workout, create an artwork, cook, among others. Keep yourself busy or entertained and defocused from something that angers you.
7. Do not make critical decisions. Reconsider making critical decisions when you are angry. There might be repercussions and circumstances that cannot be undone if you make abrupt and impulsive decisions. So, hold your horses. There is always time for important decisions.
8. Do not express your anger in social media. Expressing your anger on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and the likes will less likely help you in managing your anger. It may even be aggravated because of the comments and unsolicited suggestions if not, be unfairly judged by your readers.
We have varied ways of expressing our discontent, frustration, and disappointment. Others take it in silence, leaving unresolved issues hanging. I am unsure how long one can suppress an emotion, or forgive and forget the cause of anger. If you feel you have anger management issues, start resolving the less complicated situations that make you angry. However, if you feel you need help in dealing with anger, seek help. Anger can cause stress, anxiety and, in worst cases, may push you to exhibit violence towards yourself or others. Allow no room for anger and unhappiness in your heart and mind. Stay happy and healthy.